the wisdom of thai teenagers

well, friends, i've finished grading the finals, inputting the grades, adjusting the final grades for every co-teacher (this one wants the assignments to total 70 and the final to total 30, another wants assignments to be 40 and the final 60, the other just wants "10 marks"...bleh), and now i'm DONE! you know what this means?

time to guffaw at test answers!

you know, i only create tests with questions that make me laugh. actually testing the students' knowledge is second most important. and actually, this final had some deep questions that actually yielded incredibly touching answer in addition to hilarious ones, so get geared up for a potentially emotional blog coaster ride.

my 10th graders learned could/should/would this year. of course i took the opportunity to teach them "would you rather..." questions. the test had a few of these questions.

would you rather fall in love or win a million dollars?

• i would rather fall in love, because me and my partner will take care of each other. 
• i would rather win one million dollars because i love shopping, i wanna get a lot of money to buy something that i want such as cloth, watches, cars, etc. (you know, everything. gimme gimme gimme.)
• i would win a million dollars because i hope to help H.I.V. people around the world. (and i thought the "fall in love" answer was the "i'm a good person" choice.)
• i would rather win a million dollars because today money is very important. if you have a lot of money, you will get and do everything you want. 
• i would rather win a million dollars because i will spend it for everything that i or my parents need. i can give it for children and i think there's love anywhere and all the time but "win a million dollars" is can happend 2%. (she calculated it.)
• i would rather win a million dollars because i can buy everything. i am happy and i don't fall in love. i don't care. 
• i would rather win a million dollars because now i studing i don't love anyone. (i'm in school here, people. i don't have time for this "falling in love" crap when i'm on my career path.)
• i rather win a million dollars because the rather fall in love not buy anything (touché)
• i would rather fall in love because love is beautiful the world is pink and freshness
• love because i can find moneys when i study and do work. but love, it isn't to find it easy.
• i think i rather fall in love cause i think that awesome to feel when you love someone. 
• i choose fall in love because when you have the best boyfriend or girlfriend the million dollars is very easy

would you rather be beautiful or smart?

• i would be smart because i don't like people who so beautiful but stupid, like thai idiom "suay tae roop joop mai hom."(she would hate the hills.)
• i would rather be smart because smart people do everything perfect.
• i rather is smart cause i want to be beautiful from inside.
• i would rather be beautiful because i'm a girl. (this was a popular--and disconcerting--answer.)
• i would rather be smart because i can make lots of money and i will go to surgery. (beauty can be bought, teacher.)
• eatting fruits (translation: this test is way too hard, teacher nicki. i hate you.)
• beautiful because boys like beautiful girls than smart girls. (sadface)
• smart because beautiful is next 10 year, you will don't have it, but smart is next 10 year, you will smart only. (happyface)

they also worked on using if with will/won't.

what will happen if you watch too much tv?

• if i watch too much tv i will fail my final exam next week. blah~blah~blah :P (yeah, yeah, yeah, teacher, i freaking get it.)
• if you watch too much tv, you will be dull. 
• i will eat tv

another part of the test is a conversation between amber and natalie (roommate shout out! side note: i always use names of real friends and family in my tests) where natalie's boyfriend has kissed five other girls. (THIS ISN'T TRUE. i only use names; situations are completely a product of my own brain and any shred of reality should be ignored because it's not intentional.) at the end of the conversation, the students pretend they're amber and they tell natalie what she should do.

• you should kiss another boy (same him) or you should walk away and have a new life with a handsome boy.
• you should punch the face of your boyfriend.
• you shoud hit him. 
• you kick him! yehh! 555+ (kicking/punching/hitting/violence of any kind was a very popular answer.)
• natalie should kiss ten another boy.
• natalie should run away an go to china (ah, of course, china, where all scorned women go)
• OH! You boyfriend stop your kiss now. Listen to me. I love you forever.
• You should smile to the problem because in this world has a many person who love you such as me.
• she should kill him. 

the ninth graders worked on comparatives this semester. no funny answers, just a picture for you:

take that, barack. 

also, yes, the question above the famous one says "which one is prettier?" then shows a picture of poop and a flower. teeheehee. poop.