in the summertime when the weather is fine

bye bye. in koh tao until next thursday. see you then, internet. don't go changin' too much.

the wisdom of thai teenagers

well, friends, i've finished grading the finals, inputting the grades, adjusting the final grades for every co-teacher (this one wants the assignments to total 70 and the final to total 30, another wants assignments to be 40 and the final 60, the other just wants "10 marks"...bleh), and now i'm DONE! you know what this means?

time to guffaw at test answers!

you know, i only create tests with questions that make me laugh. actually testing the students' knowledge is second most important. and actually, this final had some deep questions that actually yielded incredibly touching answer in addition to hilarious ones, so get geared up for a potentially emotional blog coaster ride.

my 10th graders learned could/should/would this year. of course i took the opportunity to teach them "would you rather..." questions. the test had a few of these questions.

would you rather fall in love or win a million dollars?

• i would rather fall in love, because me and my partner will take care of each other. 
• i would rather win one million dollars because i love shopping, i wanna get a lot of money to buy something that i want such as cloth, watches, cars, etc. (you know, everything. gimme gimme gimme.)
• i would win a million dollars because i hope to help H.I.V. people around the world. (and i thought the "fall in love" answer was the "i'm a good person" choice.)
• i would rather win a million dollars because today money is very important. if you have a lot of money, you will get and do everything you want. 
• i would rather win a million dollars because i will spend it for everything that i or my parents need. i can give it for children and i think there's love anywhere and all the time but "win a million dollars" is can happend 2%. (she calculated it.)
• i would rather win a million dollars because i can buy everything. i am happy and i don't fall in love. i don't care. 
• i would rather win a million dollars because now i studing i don't love anyone. (i'm in school here, people. i don't have time for this "falling in love" crap when i'm on my career path.)
• i rather win a million dollars because the rather fall in love not buy anything (touché)
• i would rather fall in love because love is beautiful the world is pink and freshness
• love because i can find moneys when i study and do work. but love, it isn't to find it easy.
• i think i rather fall in love cause i think that awesome to feel when you love someone. 
• i choose fall in love because when you have the best boyfriend or girlfriend the million dollars is very easy

would you rather be beautiful or smart?

• i would be smart because i don't like people who so beautiful but stupid, like thai idiom "suay tae roop joop mai hom."(she would hate the hills.)
• i would rather be smart because smart people do everything perfect.
• i rather is smart cause i want to be beautiful from inside.
• i would rather be beautiful because i'm a girl. (this was a popular--and disconcerting--answer.)
• i would rather be smart because i can make lots of money and i will go to surgery. (beauty can be bought, teacher.)
• eatting fruits (translation: this test is way too hard, teacher nicki. i hate you.)
• beautiful because boys like beautiful girls than smart girls. (sadface)
• smart because beautiful is next 10 year, you will don't have it, but smart is next 10 year, you will smart only. (happyface)

they also worked on using if with will/won't.

what will happen if you watch too much tv?

• if i watch too much tv i will fail my final exam next week. blah~blah~blah :P (yeah, yeah, yeah, teacher, i freaking get it.)
• if you watch too much tv, you will be dull. 
• i will eat tv

another part of the test is a conversation between amber and natalie (roommate shout out! side note: i always use names of real friends and family in my tests) where natalie's boyfriend has kissed five other girls. (THIS ISN'T TRUE. i only use names; situations are completely a product of my own brain and any shred of reality should be ignored because it's not intentional.) at the end of the conversation, the students pretend they're amber and they tell natalie what she should do.

• you should kiss another boy (same him) or you should walk away and have a new life with a handsome boy.
• you should punch the face of your boyfriend.
• you shoud hit him. 
• you kick him! yehh! 555+ (kicking/punching/hitting/violence of any kind was a very popular answer.)
• natalie should kiss ten another boy.
• natalie should run away an go to china (ah, of course, china, where all scorned women go)
• OH! You boyfriend stop your kiss now. Listen to me. I love you forever.
• You should smile to the problem because in this world has a many person who love you such as me.
• she should kill him. 

the ninth graders worked on comparatives this semester. no funny answers, just a picture for you:

take that, barack. 

also, yes, the question above the famous one says "which one is prettier?" then shows a picture of poop and a flower. teeheehee. poop.

fish fight

back in november, lexa and i were wandering through the market outside tesco in suphan and we saw some betta fighting fish for sale. oh my god, what if we got some fish? that sounds awesome...but lexa's assignment was only for five months, and both of us were planning on doing about two months' worth of traveling starting in march. what would we do with our precious fish come march? surely they'd die without us, and we wouldn't travel with'em.

so, of course, we came to the next logical conclusion: they would have a fight to the death.

[michael vick jokes here, i know, i know]

tonight was the night. shit talking was flying through the air. for weeks before, people were speculating on who would win the fight. lexa and i each had our own tactics: i fed my fish, lexa didn't; i cleaned my fish cage semi-regularly, lexa hadn't cleaned her cage at all in 2010; i sweet talked my fish on a regular basis, lexa bitch slapped her fish every night before bed.*

at 8 pm on february 23, 2010, the fish fought. we flipped a coin for home court advantage. i won, so lexa fished her fish (yuk yuk) out of its cage and dropped it in mine. FIGHT ON, FISH!

at first, my fish looked like mincy kitten balls (to use an australian term). he was running away from lexa's fish, ducking behind the flower in the cage and sprinting around the edges. lexa's fish was mobbin' in the middle of the tank and just checkin' shit out like he OWNED the arena.

but it was just a tactic my fish and i had discussed before the fight, and it worked beautifully. the fish started biting at each other's fins, and at first it was a pretty even fight, but then my fish just started to pwn. he would grab lexa's fish and drag him around like a rag doll, ripping off fins whenever he felt like it just to show off his strength. at one point, lexa's fish had his side up at the top of the water and he was looking really dead. we were convinced we could call an official winner when BAM he rose from his fake slumber to attack my fish. good move, but not enough to be called a leader by any means.

there's plenty of video. don't worry.

after maybe 40 minutes we got kind of bored and started talking and watching youtube videos. it's 11 pm now, and the fish are disappointingly still alive, kickin' it in the same tank together. my fish just kind of sneak attacked lexa's, but overall, they seem pretty tired and they just kind of float around. i'm gonna go to bed pretty soon here, and i'm expecting to wake up to two dead fish in the morning. i'll keep you updated.



*UNCONFIRMED.

5:52 pm update: both fish are still alive. lexa's fish isn't moving, except for one fin. "i think he's nodding off into death."--maddy