i'm dressed like an 8-year-old

yesterday the thai teachers told us we would be singing "que sera, sera" karaoke-style in front of the whole school today. they specified that we should dress like little girls.

professionalism out the door. hilarity of being a white person, come on in.

justin timberlake

it turns out "exhibition day" is actually a huge, school-wide carnival. the students have their own booths with delicious food, drinks, jewelery, clothes, blah blah blah. some of them have booths with games, there's a big aquarium touch-tank type deal in the gym, there's a haunted house upstairs (and actually, maybe a second haunted house in another building, but i'm not sure), music's blasting everywhere (so much katy perry)...it's stupendous. exhibition was not used right here. the word our teachers were searching for is "carnival." and maybe the adjectives "freaking awesome" in front of it.

so we decided to ditch pictionary early on because it would've been too hard. instead, we got a map of the US and some star stickers, and gave the students a chance to put the sticker where they want to visit in the US. new york seemed to be the most popular, but there were some surprising answers. like denver swooped in from outta nowhere. one kid came up and asked me about norfolk (which i made him point out because i had NO CLUE where it was. it's virginia, by the way). another student came up to the board very confidently and stuck her star right on las vegas. some students spent forever looking at alllllllllll their choices, like they were actually planning a trip.

but my favorite conversation...ohhh boy. here, i'll dialogue it for you:

"teacher, where is tennessee?"
(bizarre state to choose, but okay. let's hear why.)
"oh, it's right here. why do you want to go to tennessee?"
"oh umm...justin timberlake."
(personal nicki freak out)
"i LOVE justin timberlake! do you like *nsync?"

this girl and i talked for a few minutes about *nsync and justin, and then she told me she liked justin cuz her older sister liked justin. she made a "wait one second" motion with her hand and came back a few minutes later with her older sister (the two were 13 and 15 years old). i talked with the older sister for five entire minutes--in english!--about justin. about how i'd seen him four times in concert, how he and jessica biel were getting married ("i heard that was just gossip," she said), how some of jc's songs are good, sometimes even better than justin's because sometimes justin's voice is too high-pitched ("but i still love him!" she squealed). she also likes ashley tisdale, high school musical in general, taylor swift, and some carrie underwood ("she is soooo beautiful"). she feels so-so about miley cyrus.

easily the best thai child-nicki interaction to date. justin unites people around the world.

the exhibition

it's happening today. it's apparently a huge deal, but we have almost zero idea what's going on. if you want to know anything around here, you have to piece together bits of different conversations from different people. last week, kanchana told us the thai teachers wanted us to come up with some game ideas because the teachers weren't creative enough. (it seems to be a widely held belief among thais that foreigners know and are really good at tons of games for students.) so we brainstormed a whole list and showed kanchana on monday. she just told us to write down what supplies we'd need to play the games.

ok, so apparently we're leading these games. for how many students? we had no idea. we only knew it'd be in the downstairs area.

yesterday, they asked us how we wanted our board decorated, how many chairs we wanted, and how many tables we wanted. just tell the students what you want and they'll give it to you.

um...we have no idea what's going on. we'd love to be able to order the students around like slaves, but we have  no clue what the end game here is, so it's pretty hard to organize some means. we tried to ask bird and other teachers what we were supposed to be doing, but everyone repeatedly just told us to "play games. just play games." then they'd quiz us incessantly on what games we were playing. JUST PICTIONARY, OK? we're just playing pictionary with an unknown number of students, maybe from different schools, maybe from different areas, maybe with their parents. we'll just have to see what kind of games work once the day starts because we have almost zero idea what to do.

exhibition day starts in 15 minutes. wish us luck. expect pictures.

buddhist monks in the morning, concert in the afternoon

we didn't have class today (as usual. i swear, i've spent more days NOT working at sanguan ying than i have working. no complaints here.). the thai teachers explained to us that there would be buddhist monks coming to bless this new building at the school so the school could be prosperous. during the ceremony, the students and teachers also stuck all this money on to a money tree. the money will go to the monks and the school (but mostly the school, says our coordinator. they're hoping this new buildling will be air conditioned).

so at 9 am, in this sticky, hot heat, we went to the monk ceremony. all the kids were sitting down in the outdoor gym/auditorium, watching the 10 or so monks sitting up on stage. a lot of stuff went on in thai. i got sweaty and bored.

in the afternoon, the thai teachers explained, there would be a concert to promote a drug-free lifestyle. awesome. so i'm figuring it's gonna be a small thing. maybe a local band, maybe some students who are really good on the drums. not a big deal.

SO SO FALSE. it was huge. girls were screaming like we were at a beatles reunion tour or something. three bands came: some thai named band, the worm, and spinhead. the LOVE these bands. oh holy crap. they were rushing the stage, screaming at a pitch that would've broken windows had we been indoors. the girls at the front stuck their hands up just to touch the lead singer's hands, just for a second. after the worm had finished playing, they were out in their van and a crap ton of girls bumrushed the van, begging for pictures and autographs.

they were the jonas brothers, thailand. maddy said their clothes looked like they literally got them off the jo bros' backs. it's good to know middle and high school girls all around the world are the same.

here, just in case you're craving some spinhead now, check it out:

http://video.mthai.com/player.php?id=14M1177330526M0

is this racist?

"we need to go get some blasians." (indeed, this is a mix between a black baby and an asian baby. way cuter than a white baby.)

(in the same conversation about multiracial babies) "so this guy was a canadian..."

(after watching "charlie bit my finger" on youtube) "i don't think black people have seen this."

ab work out tonight.

the art of squatting to pee

we have one western-style toilet in the teachers' bathrooms. for the first week and a half of school, tash, maddy, and i were lovin' it. we have to bring our own toilet paper to school, but it's not a big deal.

then last week, the door to the western toilet was mysteriously locked. we were forced to use something i thought i would only use on rural trips: a squat toilet. there's a whole row of them in the bathroom just next to the western-style toilet.

the western toilet's been locked for almost a week now, so we've had to resort to using the squat toilet. if you've ever been in a desperate pee situation with me (out camping, out after a night of drinking but far away from usable toilets, etc.), you know how bad i am at squatting and peeing. i always end up getting it on my shoes or a little bit on the edge of my pants or other gross things like that. i'm even terrible at squatting over a western toilet in a public bathroom. i'll usually resort to making my own cover out of toilet paper and just sitting on it over hovering for that dreaded 45 seconds. my thighs must be weak.

but apparently, they'll be getting stronger if that damn western toilet never opens up. squatting to pee presents a few questions. our squat toilets are raised off the ground about six inches; do i put my feet on the ground, or on the sides of the toilet? do i aim for the porcelain bowl or the water down below? how far down do i squat?

i can feel it in my thighs after every pee session. maybe these toilets are how asian people stay so much skinnier than us.