11.3.10

hoooooooooooooooooome!

we just got home from phuket with the m2 smart class after 12 hours on the bus. COUNT'EM, 12 HOURS. on a bus. it wasn't terribly uncomfortable or anything...just dull..and bus-y (not busy...bus-y). we made eight stops, i think...EIGHT FRIGGIN STOPS. i'm used to traveling like an arnold: minimal stoppage, get on with the trip. pee the dogs then let's get this ship on the road. 

but i'm home now so it doesn't matter! yahoo! (i've never said yahoo in real life ever!) i've got some funny stories for you and some terrible stories about how i've slept on straight linoleum for the last four nights, but i've gotta stretch and shower and catch up on all the internet goodies i've missed out on for the last five days first. 

oh my god, i've even missed typing. i love computers. 

expect stories/pictures/videos within the next 24 hours. 

7.3.10

field trip!!

i think i'm about to be a chaperone on my first field trip ever. actually, i'll be somewhere between chaperone and person who needs a chaperone.

tash, maddy, a handful of thai teachers/administrators, and i are headed down to phuket tomorrow with the 8th-grade honors class for five days/four nights (to use the lingo, this is an english camp with our m2 smart class). i'd say i have no idea what to expect, but that's not true. they gave us a very detailed schedule of precisely what will happen every single hour of every single day of the trip. from march 7 at 7 am to march 11 at 8 pm, i know exactly what i'll be doing.

well, that's assuming we stick to the schedule with some sort of american punctuality. we'll see. either way, i'm super pumped. the kids are gonna have to just walk up to random white people and start speaking english with them. hilarity's bound to ensue.

but you know what sucks? i still haven't written about koh tao (aside from the burn incident). ohhhh well. i suppose pictures on fbook will have to suffice. it's so daunting to write about vacations...i wanna remember everything, every stupid travel detail and everything i ate and everyone i met, but writing about all of that gets to be SO LONG. those vacation posts are mostly for future nicki to look back on and remember all the crazy things past nicki did, so i apologize for when i include seemingly inane details or stories that are unfunny to people who weren't there.

anyway, it's just after midgnight and i'm gonna wake up around 6 am so i can be at school at 7 am...so, crap, i really should get some sleep. after phuket i'll be in suphan for like a week, so maybe i'll give you a good koh tao posting then. OHH i'll also tell you all of my travel plans for the next couple months cuz i know you're dying without them.

okay, nicki, stop typing. go to bed. see you next week, friends.

5.3.10

OW F$*K SH*T THAT HURTS

remember that picture in the last post where tahsh is wrapping my leg with a big ol' strip of gauze? here comes the story.

on sunday (or maybe it was saturday...you know how the days go when you're on vacation), maddy and i rented a motorbike while tahsh went out diving. we got really into the bike and ended up taking this long drive over what we found out was a hilly-ish part of the road. we reached the literal end of the road, so maddy tried to drive the bike up this tiny little baby hill to the parking lot, but the bike was like "HA no way, suckers!" and started to slip backwards. we struggled to keep the bike from falling over completely, and in my thoughtlessness from the back of the bike, i accidentally hit the inside of my calf against the exhaust pipe of the motorbike.

idiot. 

it wasn't extreme pain right at first. (you were expecting me to say something different cuz of the title of the post, huh? just wait.) it sort of felt like someone had just smacked me really hard on my leg. we biked back to our guesthouse (after making a trip to town to refill our empty-at-the-end-of-the-road-far-away-from-a-gas-station tank...lol. seriously, morons) and i decided i should go to the clinic. the doctor-type person told me to keep it clean and stay out of the ocean (ha, yeah right...this was day two of our five-day beach vacation), then she gave me sesame oil to put on it. it worked for her when she had her burn, she said. great, i love getting anecdotal cures when i go to official medical clinics.

anyway, i kept my burn as clean as possible for the rest of the trip. for our snorkeling boat ride around the island, doctor tahsh wrapped up my leg nice and good with gauze, a plastic bag, and lots of waterproof medical tape. the burn looked the best after that day, actually.


when i got back to suphan yesterday, i got to thinking that maybe i should go to the doctor and get some antibiotics. when i showed the desk/cleaning ladies downstairs the burn--which was a yellow/red scab at this point--they all gave me concerned mother looks and really really insisted that i go to the hospital to get some antibiotics. so this morning, i asked my doctor, webmd, what i should do.

"seek medical attention," he said virtually. so i called kanchana, and she said she could take me to the hospital at 5 pm. when she and her husband picked me up, i showed them the burn, they gave each other concerned looks, asked me when it happened, spoke in thai a bunch, and off we went to the hospital.

at the hospital, kanchana took me to the emergency room (i'm assuming this was because we didn't have an appointment). the emergency room is literally a room, about the quarter of the size of a football field, with a reception desk in the middle and beds lined up along the wall. the only privacy is some curtains that can be pulled around to shield each bed.

so anyway, i sit up on a bed under a sign that says "MASS CASUALTY ZONE D" and a doctor brings over a thing for me to prop my leg up on. "when did you get it, what've you put on it," blah blah blah. then she brings over some iodine and a water-type substance, and decides to RIP THE SCAB OFF. holy shit, it was the most painful experience i've ever had. she rubbed it--THIS IS FUCKING SENSITIVE SKIN HERE, WOMAN, STOP RUBBING THAT SO DAMN HARD--with iodine first, and i thought that would be it. then she pressed a cotton ball against it, poured water on the cotton ball, then continued to TEAR MY VERY FRAGILE SKIN AWAY FROM THE BURN. she grabbed some tweezers and just tore away at this incredible sensitive injury. this intense fucking pain went on for five minutes. my face was contorted in an expression of super pain the whole time. i literally said, "GEEZIS, this hurtsssss!" out loud.

she and kanchana, meantime, are just shootin the shit, chatting about god knows what. then they both look at me and, sort of giggling, kanchana goes, "don't cry."

OH MY GOD, SHUT UP, WOMAN.

"kanchana," i said, "when i was 10 years old, i broke my arm. this hurts more." she laughed.

the doctor woman finished ripping off the scab and i'll have to give it to her--it did look better. she put some cream on it, gauzed it up, and told me not to get it wet. "don't shower," kanchana half-joked later in the car ride home. the doctor told me i'd have to clean it and wrap it like this for a little while, but i'm supposed to get a doctor to do it every day, which is probably not gonna happen seeing as we're headed to phuket with an honors class for english camp in two days. but seriously, it's just dabbing some cream on the wound and wrapping it--i think i can handle it myself.

oh my god, but that pain. i'll do anything again not to EVER have anybody inflict pain upon me like that again. they gave me some antibiotics and some painkillers, which i took about half an hour ago and haven't kicked in yet. boo. i'm gonna make some campbells chicken noodle soup and watch new york, i love you now.

p.s. sorry for the profanities, but seriously, if you felt that pain, you'd have used the f-bomb a fair amount, too.

4.3.10

honey, i'm hooooome

back home in suphan. this place has never felt homier (that may or may not be a real word). when i got back, the spunky front desk lady shouted "nickiiiii!!!!" so i chatted with her and the cleaning ladies for a while...granted, our version of chatty has a lot more gestures, facial expressions, and "what?"s than a what i used to call a good chat, but i've since learned that a good talk is a lot more than full sentences.

anyway, as usual when i get home from a vacay, i'm tired. plus i'm still in island mode where i don't really feel motivated to do anything. after i pick up my paycheck tomorrow (apparently everyone in the office was REALLY CONCERNED that i wasn't there to pick it up today, even though i said i wouldn't be there till the 5th...ohhh, thailand), i'll motivate myself to share some stories and upload some pictures on fbook. here's what you can look forward to:

funny signs!

 stunning island views!

the reason this is happening!

25.2.10

in the summertime when the weather is fine

bye bye. in koh tao until next thursday. see you then, internet. don't go changin' too much.

24.2.10

the wisdom of thai teenagers

well, friends, i've finished grading the finals, inputting the grades, adjusting the final grades for every co-teacher (this one wants the assignments to total 70 and the final to total 30, another wants assignments to be 40 and the final 60, the other just wants "10 marks"...bleh), and now i'm DONE! you know what this means?

time to guffaw at test answers!

you know, i only create tests with questions that make me laugh. actually testing the students' knowledge is second most important. and actually, this final had some deep questions that actually yielded incredibly touching answer in addition to hilarious ones, so get geared up for a potentially emotional blog coaster ride.

my 10th graders learned could/should/would this year. of course i took the opportunity to teach them "would you rather..." questions. the test had a few of these questions.

would you rather fall in love or win a million dollars?


  • i would rather fall in love, because me and my partner will take care of each other. 
  • i would rather win one million dollars because i love shopping, i wanna get a lot of money to buy something that i want such as cloth, watches, cars, etc. (you know, everything. gimme gimme gimme.)
  • i would win a million dollars because i hope to help H.I.V. people around the world. (and i thought the "fall in love" answer was the "i'm a good person" choice.)
  • i would rather win a million dollars because today money is very important. if you have a lot of money, you will get and do everything you want. 
  • i would rather win a million dollars because i will spend it for everything that i or my parents need. i can give it for children and i think there's love anywhere and all the time but "win a million dollars" is can happend 2%. (she calculated it.)
  • i would rather win a million dollars because i can buy everything. i am happy and i don't fall in love. i don't care. 
  • i would rather win a million dollars because now i studing i don't love anyone. (i'm in school here, people. i don't have time for this "falling in love" crap when i'm on my career path.)
  • i rather win a million dollars because the rather fall in love not buy anything (touché)
  • i would rather fall in love because love is beautiful the world is pink and freshness
  • love because i can find moneys when i study and do work. but love, it isn't to find it easy.
  • i think i rather fall in love cause i think that awesome to feel when you love someone. 
  • i choose fall in love because when you have the best boyfriend or girlfriend the million dollars is very easy

would you rather be beautiful or smart?
  • i would be smart because i don't like people who so beautiful but stupid, like thai idiom "suay tae roop joop mai hom."(she would hate the hills.)
  • i would rather be smart because smart people do everything perfect.
  • i rather is smart cause i want to be beautiful from inside.
  • i would rather be beautiful because i'm a girl. (this was a popular--and disconcerting--answer.)
  • i would rather be smart because i can make lots of money and i will go to surgery. (beauty can be bought, teacher.)
  • eatting fruits (translation: this test is way too hard, teacher nicki. i hate you.)
  • beautiful because boys like beautiful girls than smart girls. (sadface)
  • smart because beautiful is next 10 year, you will don't have it, but smart is next 10 year, you will smart only. (happyface)
they also worked on using if with will/won't.

what will happen if you watch too much tv?
  • if i watch too much tv i will fail my final exam next week. blah~blah~blah :P (yeah, yeah, yeah, teacher, i freaking get it.)
  • if you watch too much tv, you will be dull. 
  • i will eat tv
another part of the test is a conversation between amber and natalie (roommate shout out! side note: i always use names of real friends and family in my tests) where natalie's boyfriend has kissed five other girls. (THIS ISN'T TRUE. i only use names; situations are completely a product of my own brain and any shred of reality should be ignored because it's not intentional.) at the end of the conversation, the students pretend they're amber and they tell natalie what she should do.
  • you should kiss another boy (same him) or you should walk away and have a new life with a handsome boy.
  • you should punch the face of your boyfriend.
  • you shoud hit him. 
  • you kick him! yehh! 555+ (kicking/punching/hitting/violence of any kind was a very popular answer.)
  • natalie should kiss ten another boy.
  • natalie should run away an go to china (ah, of course, china, where all scorned women go)
  • OH! You boyfriend stop your kiss now. Listen to me. I love you forever.
  • You should smile to the problem because in this world has a many person who love you such as me.
  • she should kill him. 
the ninth graders worked on comparatives this semester. no funny answers, just a picture for you:

take that, barack. 

also, yes, the question above the famous one says "which one is prettier?" then shows a picture of poop and a flower. teeheehee. poop.

    23.2.10

    fish fight

    back in november, lexa and i were wandering through the market outside tesco in suphan and we saw some betta fighting fish for sale. oh my god, what if we got some fish? that sounds awesome...but lexa's assignment was only for five months, and both of us were planning on doing about two months' worth of traveling starting in march. what would we do with our precious fish come march? surely they'd die without us, and we wouldn't travel with'em.

    so, of course, we came to the next logical conclusion: they would have a fight to the death.

    [michael vick jokes here, i know, i know]

    tonight was the night. shit talking was flying through the air. for weeks before, people were speculating on who would win the fight. lexa and i each had our own tactics: i fed my fish, lexa didn't; i cleaned my fish cage semi-regularly, lexa hadn't cleaned her cage at all in 2010; i sweet talked my fish on a regular basis, lexa bitch slapped her fish every night before bed.*

    at 8 pm on february 23, 2010, the fish fought. we flipped a coin for home court advantage. i won, so lexa fished her fish (yuk yuk) out of its cage and dropped it in mine. FIGHT ON, FISH!

    at first, my fish looked like mincy kitten balls (to use an australian term). he was running away from lexa's fish, ducking behind the flower in the cage and sprinting around the edges. lexa's fish was mobbin' in the middle of the tank and just checkin' shit out like he OWNED the arena.

    but it was just a tactic my fish and i had discussed before the fight, and it worked beautifully. the fish started biting at each other's fins, and at first it was a pretty even fight, but then my fish just started to pwn. he would grab lexa's fish and drag him around like a rag doll, ripping off fins whenever he felt like it just to show off his strength. at one point, lexa's fish had his side up at the top of the water and he was looking really dead. we were convinced we could call an official winner when BAM he rose from his fake slumber to attack my fish. good move, but not enough to be called a leader by any means.

    there's plenty of video. don't worry.

    after maybe 40 minutes we got kind of bored and started talking and watching youtube videos. it's 11 pm now, and the fish are disappointingly still alive, kickin' it in the same tank together. my fish just kind of sneak attacked lexa's, but overall, they seem pretty tired and they just kind of float around. i'm gonna go to bed pretty soon here, and i'm expecting to wake up to two dead fish in the morning. i'll keep you updated.



    *UNCONFIRMED.

    5:52 pm update: both fish are still alive. lexa's fish isn't moving, except for one fin. "i think he's nodding off into death."--maddy